Unfailing Truth… (Part 3)

My heart was broken for the second time by the same person. At some point I thought I could not bear with that. That it was just too much. How can a person be fooled twice? Hadn’t he learned the first time? Well those kinds of thoughts were on my head.  But if the truth’s been told God, brought a revelation to my life: He being God pardon me, in spite of what I’ve done, knowing that in the future I would fail Him at some point. If He loves me so much, that His mercy, love, grace & forgiveness is available for me at any moment and under any circumstance, why then I could not give her a second chance?

After the first time my heart was broken. I made a decision to just continue my path and (actually) not include her on my life anymore. A couple of months later God started to do a work within my heart and spirit. I just knew that He did, in fact, not intend what I’ve decided. So contact was re-established. I just prayed blessings for her life. Then the school send me to the psychologist. (I just wont try to even argue about that) Point is that over the sessions I realised that I needed to talk to her in order to close that circle of and in my life. Preparations were made and over Easter I made my bags and went to see her. My initial plans were to just talk to her and let her know that I have already forgiven her, and that I wanted her to forgive me for what whatever I had done in the past that could have offended her.  But it did not happened as planned. You see, it was like if anything had happened, it was like if we hadn’t seen each other like for a week.  (To be continued…)

Unfailing Truth… (Part 2)

God has surrounded me with extraordinary people. He has given me friends, which have helped me stay focused during this process. Last December things didn’t went as I expected them to, and I must confess that I lived through hell!!! Those 6hrs I had to do, in order to be back home, were by far the worst I’ve ever lived. I mean nobody ever told me that a guy could, at some point of his life, jump into an emotional roller coaster. Men I was sad, I was frustrated, I mean I cried like a little baby like for half an hour outside the bus station. Actually a lady came and asked if I was ok. (Did I actually look so bad?)

Nothing ever prepared me for what happened two days after my arrival. I went to see my producers because we had to get some work done before shooting the next show. As soon as my producer’s wife opened the door; she just hugged me and whispered these words: “God knows, He loves, He restores, He has a plan for your life”.

For the next couple of hours I lay down on a couch, as they ministered to my life,  in such an incredible way (that as I am writing this my whole body trembles). They just asked me to speak, freely, on what my feelings were back when I got interested on her. I just shared the whole story with them. After that, they lay hands on me and, began to pray over my life. The presence of God became so evident and tangible that I just felt to the couch completely. And for two hours I just cried and cried and cried while they prayed for me, for my life, for my emotions, for my heart. At some point I just cried out in a loud voice: “I let her go!!!!!” They just prayed and pampered me. And then it was so clear; God was not only telling me but also demonstrating me that His love for me is complete and redeeming. (to be continued…)

Unfailing Truth…. (Part 1)

It has been a while since my last post. A lot of things have happened since the last time I wrote. I’ve had up’s and down’s and in the midst of each, God’s unfailing love and grace continues to pour down into my life. Why is it that I am writing this? I’m not sure I got the correct answer for that. Maybe because I just want to try to put into words what my heart and mind have been through during this time.

I’m not quite sure where the point is or if there’s a point at all in what I am writing. Have you ever question how things turn out? Have you ever ponder on why was it that you thought God was leading towards that decision just to find out that it was definitely not what God wanted? Have you ever walked confident into a situation believing what the outcome would be? Have you ever walked into knowing that that’s the right time and place to speak, just to find out that it was not? Have you ever face uncertainty?

It is not easy when you face the truth: you were wrong. So often the process of realizing that your confidence towards one issue was not sustained is not so smooth. But who ever said that life would be so easy? Who ever told us that we would live a problem-free life? No one!!! Actually Jesus told us that we might not have a blast or an everlasting party while we walked in the Earth. But He do promised us that He would be there alongside, that he would comfort us, that he would just hold us within His lovely hands.

I walked confident into one specific situation. I had prayed for many months (actually I could say more than months) regarding this issue. God had used some verses in his word to just give me peace, security and confidence on what I was praying for. And when bringing the issue to the table the outcome was not what I was hoping to be. Actually it was so confusing that I realize that perhaps I was just taking hold of something that was not intended to be. I realized that no matter how much I did there would always be new challenges, new “not right now’s”, that every single time there would not be a concrete answer. And it was so hard, it was painful to just loose myself before God and letting it go. It’s not easy to realize that you were holding something that seemed not to have a future it hurts and a lot. But I am so thankful for God’s unfailing love, unfailing Grace, unfailing Mercy and His unfailing presence!!!!  (to be continued…)

Passion Twenty 10

I just wanted to share with you a little glimpse of what Passion is. God used Passion 2010 to heal some wounds in my heart, to strengthen me & challenged me to awake to what He is already doing in my world!!!